Consumer Stupidity

I've had enough.

The gluten free trend is taking off so everyone is jumping on the band wagon and coming out with their own line of 'gluten free' products.

These companies know most human beings are educated to not ask questions, and so they hide ingredients which contain GLUTEN in the food because obviously no one reads LABELS!

Oats are not gluten free!

Barely is not Gluten free!

Spelt is not gluten free!

Whole grain DOESN'T MEAN GLUTEN FREE!!

AHHHHHH!

Oh and let's not forget the cookies that boast gluten free goodness as well as being corn and dairy free in flashy lettering on the front of the box, but turn the box around and read the teeny list of items on the back and CORN STARCH is listed as well as WHEY POWDER.

AAAARRRRRRRGGGGG!!

People, stop being so dumb and buying these impostor's products.  Stick to the little guy, the ones who sell in the Health food store or your local farmers market.

They know gluten free because they LIVE IT.

Get off my A$$!!!

You know what bugs me?

Tailgaters.

Seriously. 

Makes me have some serious road rage.

For the past two weeks, on our way home from dance class, in the DARK, there has been a vehicle riding my rear.

I am not impressed.

When the interior of my vehicle is as bright as daytime - IN THE DARK - with my very darkly tinted van windows, you are too close.  Get off my a$$.

Both times I suppressed my rage, and instead of slamming on my brakes (but officer, there was a dog/cat/coon on the road!) I just let off the gas.  And, eventually *both times* by the time the van slowed down to 20km, the stupids finally passed me.

If you want to drive faster than me, go for it.  Pass me, and speed on.

If you want to drive slower than me, get ready for me to pass you.

If you want to drive the same speed as me... BACK THE HELL OFF MY A$$!!

I Love Canada

But we can sometimes be pretty odd. By odd I mean unimaginably strange, bordering on insanity, etc.

This post would have included a lot more rage, but I have since learned that this monstrosity has been altered. Is it true, or am I just hoping I don't have to go on the hunt? From what I have been led to understand, there was enough of an uproar from the masses (rah! Rah! Rah! Or should I say Roar! Roar! Roar!) that the ludicrous rule has been redefined: it's now a subject of mercy. So any soccer team that is devastating the opposition by six points automatically wins without having to play the full game. The game just ends. This I can understand. This I am fine with. I will not eviscerate and defenestrate anyone anymore. (My fist of death was tingling for no reason, apparently. Calm down, fist of death. You'll get your day.)

So, I'm glad that this new regulation has been changed, but I can't help but wonder why it was even brought to the table at all. I mean, really! Let's teach our kids that trying your best and pushing yourself to the limit of your abilities is a waste of time! Yea! That's a great idea. Let's remove all hope for future excellence by telling them they can be no more excellent than the worst guys out there. That would be unfair.

What's next with something like this?

Canadian race-car drivers: slow down, geez! Do you want to win or something? Don't you know it's an automatic lose if you cross the finish first?

Pianists: don't play so well! You'll get the lowest score possible if you outshine the other pianists here! Make some mistakes, kid. Perfection makes other kids feel bad. Jerk.

Artists: um, yea...drawing a flower that doesn't look like a pile of hurl is a recipe for disaster.

No excellence allowed! No trying your best! We're looking for okayness.

I can see it now:

Future Canadian child: Hey Coach, I kicked the ball toward the goal, but it bounced off the post. Was that okay?

Coach: Yea, it was okay.

Future Canadian child: YESSSS!

Other Canadian child: Hey, his okayness makes me feel bad!

-_-

It Bugs Me....

When I try to comment on a blog, and Blogger tells me to sign in...

...when I'm already signed in.

And then, to make matters much, much more buggy, I sign in with a roll of my eyes, and it tells me "blah blah blah could not complete your request..."

*rage face much?*

Anyway, if you ever wonder why I end up not commenting on something, this is why.

~

Look for a larger, much more ranty-rage post later on.

GARG!!!

You know what bugs me???

The fact that my brand-new camcorder records in .MOD, and NOTHING seems to work with .MOD files!!!

I'm pulling out my hair trying to figure out how to make it work.

I love Windows Live Movie Maker... but MOD files are not supported.

I've spent hours and hours trying to figure it out. 

I have just renamed some files, but then it lowers the quality of the movies.

Why can't JVC have it record in a supported mode?!??

GAR!

Baths VS. Showers

This has bugged me for ages.

With all this "environmentally aware people-who-freak-out-if-you-drop-a-gum-wrapper-on-the-ground-are-the-new-awesomesauce" stuff going on, it's no longer surprising to hear about people who pat themselves on the back for what they've done to help the climate. You hear about people "going green" and "using less energy" and blah blah blah.*

This bugs me in general, but there is one particular thing that is bugging me especially.

I heard this lady gloating once in a video about how she takes baths instead of showers, because she wants to save water, and multiple shames on anyone who has a shower instead of a bath! Conserve water, you evil evil souls!

So, I listened to that with an expression of disbelief (and the smallest bit of rage) on my face. I then did an experiment. I went and had a shower, and plugged the bathtub up so the water would collect instead of going down the drain.

Guess how high the water got?

About two inches.

And, by the way, I took a *long* shower, going overboard in the experiment.

Now, normally, when I have a bath, I fill that sucker up about three quarters of the way. THAT is a bath. When your body is submerged.

I can only imagine what Gloating Lady would call a bath, but I'm thinking it's more than two inches deep. What a nice soak...for my heels, shoulder blades, and backside.

Then I got to thinking, and came up with this list:

- Perhaps Gloating Lady does use only two inches of water per bath. In which case, how is a shower any worse anyway?

- Perhaps she uses the water to...I don't know, give her flowers a drink afterward? But what about the shampoo, etc. that's in the water? Wouldn't that kill the flowers? Yea, that's environmentally friendly.

- Perhaps she only bathes once a week. In which case, eww.

I determined that showers are better than baths. Sure, the water goes down the drain, but didn't you know drains lead to that mystical Land of Purity and Magic that makes the water beautiful, clean and happy?

And we all know happy water tastes better.

*Note: do not take my apparent disgruntled attitude as a sign that I do not care about the environment. I do think we should be careful, and not be wasteful. However, the whole global warming/climate change thing gets on my nerves. All. My. Nerves.

Horror Film Checklist

Listen. I don't think I'm the only one who is bugged by the chicks and dudes in horror films. The ones that die for no reason except for their own stupidity.

SO, here's a checklist for anyone who's ever screamed at the television during such a film for reasons other than terror - namely anger, frustration, disbelief, and...anger.

1) Don't disregard the warnings of the locals. They live there. If they tell you "we've heard screams in the night from that place...it's not a good place to stay", then don't stay there. Thank them and leave. Go home. It's simple: vacations aren't fun if you're being hacked to death, m'kay?

2) Don't go anywhere where cell phones don't work. I mean, just don't. Especially in the dark. "No service" means no service. By the way, climbing further into the dark and the heights is a bad idea. If you think about doing this, to get better service for your cell phone, remind yourself of two things: it's dark, and it's scary. Go back.

3) Stay together. If someone says "I'm going to go have a look around", slap them upside the head. Usually this happens after someone has already been killed, and you've seen their maimed and/or dismembered body. Stay together.

4) Stay where the lights are. If there are no lights except candles and lanterns, stay where the candles and lanterns are. Don't run outside to get away. They're always waiting outside.

5) Don't go down that dark hallway. Especially if the music changes. If the music becomes intense and scary, shut the door and back away. The hallway is scary. The basement is scary. Don't keep walking. Don't say "hey guys? Is anyone there?" Just don't do it!

6) Kick off the heels, for crying out loud. You can run better without them, and they're not as valuable as your life. If you can use them as a missile against the assailant, that's even better. However, if your aim is bad, just kick them off and run. TOWARD other people. Not away from them. I can't stress this enough.

7) Don't wear frickin' heels on a vacation. Who ARE you??

8) Shoot first, say you're not scared second. Don't take the time to say "I ain't afraid of you" before killing the guy. Doing such a thing would provide him with the time he needs to, say, kill you first. Kill him first, and then dance on his body.

9) Shoot him again. Don't just shoot once, twice, or three times, and then go to roll him over to make sure he is dead. Doing this usually brings about many scenarios, most of which end with him still being alive and either stabbing or shooting you. Greatest advice of all: shoot him multiple times. In the head if you can. In the hands and feet if you're still not sure. And then, don't go over to where he can reach you. Run away.

Confession

I have a confession to make.

We have a dancing, singing Santa Claus in our house. He is about five feet tall, and he has one of those flapping lips (you know, the kind that makes me want to break glass. Oh, you didn't know? Well, now you do. Isn't it wonderful, learning new things?).

When he sings, he swings his hips side to side and his arms flap back and forth (like he's trying to feel you up - I swear the thing has done it to me before. Do. not. like.).

He has beady eyes and a flat head.

And I want to drop-kick him.

Every time he is set up - that first time I see him, standing all smug in the corner, thinking he's loved by all - I want to drop-kick him right in his sassy face.

I don't like Santa Claus. Mostly because I don't like all the hype and the lies and the blagh* about Santa Claus. That 5' hip-swinging, lip-flapping dummy in the corner represents pretty much everything I dislike about the Christmas season - consumerism, lies, the "reason" for being "good"...one of these days I might not be able to stop myself.

Horrified bystanders will watch with shock as I pwn that sucker.

Merry Christmas.

* in other words, stuff that makes my brain tired, sore, and angry.

Speaking of Take-out Coffee.....

On the coffee cup, for the benefit of the stupids, popular coffee joints print

Caution "Hot"

on the side.

Why the quotation marks? Is the cup lying? Does it just want you to think it's hot, when really it's not?
Do they think that quotation marks are for emphasis?
Don't they know that bold is for emphasis? Or CAPITALS? Or numerous question marks??? Or many, many exclamation points!!! OR ALL OF THEM IN COMBINATION???!!!!

Don't get me started on WHY in the WORLD coffee cups need to have a warning label on them, informing customers that the hot coffee they are buying is, in fact, hot.

A'DUH! A'DUH!!

It irritates me every time. I should stop buying take-out coffee.

Make Up Your Mind!!

What really bugged me this morning was reading an article in a magazine (which I usually love) about the H1N1 vaccine. I'll quote the part I was reading:

"Canada's reaction to the H1N1 flu threat has been a remarkable success so far...."

"...the federal government has acquired 50 million doses of vaccine, sufficient for all Canadians who request it..."

Now, the funny part of this is, at the same time as reading those words in that article, I was listening to the local news, where they were basically reporting a vaccine shortage. People are lining up and there are not enough doses to go around; so they're asking pregnant women and children to go first.

So, which is it? Are there enough doses, or are there not?

More:

"...approximately 80 per cent of respondents said they'd been kept well informed about the flu by public health officials and an equal number felt the authorities were taking appropriate precautions. On the other hand, only 36 per cent of respondents considered themselves "very likely" to get the vaccine..."

"....Any amount of government preparation will be for naught if citizens refuse to co-operate because of superstition or ignorance..."

Okay...so...we've been well informed, but if we decide not to get the shot, we're ignorant of the facts? I thought we were well informed?

80% were well informed, weren't they? Or did I misread that? How can 80% be well informed, but 63% be ignorant? These percentages don't add together very well.

"We would encourage everyone to get informed and think carefully..."

Wow, really?

Used Q-tips that are LEFT AROUND.

That is all.