I Love Canada

But we can sometimes be pretty odd. By odd I mean unimaginably strange, bordering on insanity, etc.

This post would have included a lot more rage, but I have since learned that this monstrosity has been altered. Is it true, or am I just hoping I don't have to go on the hunt? From what I have been led to understand, there was enough of an uproar from the masses (rah! Rah! Rah! Or should I say Roar! Roar! Roar!) that the ludicrous rule has been redefined: it's now a subject of mercy. So any soccer team that is devastating the opposition by six points automatically wins without having to play the full game. The game just ends. This I can understand. This I am fine with. I will not eviscerate and defenestrate anyone anymore. (My fist of death was tingling for no reason, apparently. Calm down, fist of death. You'll get your day.)

So, I'm glad that this new regulation has been changed, but I can't help but wonder why it was even brought to the table at all. I mean, really! Let's teach our kids that trying your best and pushing yourself to the limit of your abilities is a waste of time! Yea! That's a great idea. Let's remove all hope for future excellence by telling them they can be no more excellent than the worst guys out there. That would be unfair.

What's next with something like this?

Canadian race-car drivers: slow down, geez! Do you want to win or something? Don't you know it's an automatic lose if you cross the finish first?

Pianists: don't play so well! You'll get the lowest score possible if you outshine the other pianists here! Make some mistakes, kid. Perfection makes other kids feel bad. Jerk.

Artists: um, yea...drawing a flower that doesn't look like a pile of hurl is a recipe for disaster.

No excellence allowed! No trying your best! We're looking for okayness.

I can see it now:

Future Canadian child: Hey Coach, I kicked the ball toward the goal, but it bounced off the post. Was that okay?

Coach: Yea, it was okay.

Future Canadian child: YESSSS!

Other Canadian child: Hey, his okayness makes me feel bad!

-_-