Can't BELIEVE this hasn't been covered yet.

Letter to owners of Public Washrooms

Dear Sir

In the interest of public safety and sanity, I humbly offer these suggestions on improving your germ infested, disgusting, nasty, dens of iniquity.

First question. Why do you insist upon transparent toilet paper? Is this the newest craze? "Look Mom, my fingers see my bum!" Awesome. Do you not think that people, other than myself, will just keep swooshing that roll till they get a decent amount to keep different body parts that shouldn't be together apart? It's quite wasteful.

Second question involves the placement of the garbage. If it's across the room from the door, how will I get the paper in after I use it to open the door? You don't seriously expect me to use my HANDS, do you?! This problem would be alleviated if the door was a PUSH out, instead of a pull.

Which brings me to my third question. Why do some of you just have "hand dryers" and not offer any alternative, like paper towel? Combine this with a PULL out, and I am stuck in the den, not able to get out until some unsuspecting person comes in, tripping over my foot as I jam it in the door so I can escape. It's a safety issue that requires immediate attention.

Thank goodness you had the forethought to install the flush handle at proper foot hight. I was putting my hip out trying to flush the old, high back models.

Hope you find these tips helpful.

Signed,

Absolutely Normal Person