DriveTest

Our truck broke down. It can't break down at a convenient time. Daniel has a DZ test booked for tomorrow. Mechanic Rick says there's been a delay, and the truck won't be ready until 10 am. The test is scheduled for 10 am in Clinton. The truck is in Embro. Sigh.

In order to phone and reschedule a drive test, you look up the phone number in the phone book. A computer answers and says, this number is no longer a valid phone number.

You sigh.

You phone the poor woman at the MTO Drivers' License place. She gives you an 888 number. For future reference, it is 1-888-570-6110. A computer answers. It sounds suspiciously like a Frenchman. He gives you options. French or English? Reschedule or Book? Information? You press buttons that go nowhere but back to the original menu. It insists you must type in your license number before it will transfer you to an agent. You do. It doesn't. It hangs up on you.

After it happens three times, necessitating that you must listen to the Frenchman and the same incessant choices all over again, then endure the sound of the dial tone, you phone the stinkin' MP's office to complain.

Then, you drive to Clinton to rebook the appointment.

Too bad for you. You aren't giving 48 hours' notice, so you lose the fees you paid. Oh, and you can rebook, but not until you've cancelled the first one. Don't you think you can borrow a truck somewhere?

You complain about the computer Frenchman. Matt at the DriveTest place tries the phone number and gets right through. It turns out there's a secret code that works.

Sigh. Why can't it be that simple for the general public?

So, you phone your husband and he calls the Truck Repair place. The mechanic says he'll try to get a truck.

You get home. Still no truck. You are told to rebook.

You phone Clinton. YOU USE THE SECRET CODE> IT WORKS, LIKE MAGIC.

You talk to a woman. She cannot book a new appointment over the phone. She can't take a credit card payment. Oh, and are you aware that you'll lose the $75 you already paid?

YES.

But there's nothing I can do, she tells me.

By this time I am blowing a gasket. I am on death's door with the frustration level.

Rick phones Rick, the Mechanic. He says "give me a minute". I think we should go ahead and cancel and take our chances rebooking in London. I am freaking out.

The phone rings. It's Rick the Mechanic, who has a truck for us to borrow. We have to drive to Embro, pick up the truck, drive to Clinton, pass the test, drive back to Embro, drop off the truck, pick up our own truck and do the route. Too much stress for one old Granny. But that's what we're going to do.

Here's the secret code:

Phone 888-570-6110.

When Frenchman starts talking, press 1.

Say, "Drivetest".

It will pause, then start another list of options. Say "Drivetest" again. Don't be afraid to interrupt. It's a stinkin' French computer. It will pause again slightly.

Say "Clinton".

It will ask if you mean "Clinton".

Say "YES" but try not to yell.

It will start talking. Interrupt. Say "transfer".

Halleluiah. It will Ring in Clinton. Talk to Matt. He's the only one with half a brain there.

Short version:

Call:1-888-570-6110

1

Drivetest

Drivetest

Clinton

yes

Transfer

Don't expect anything to go well. But that will get you through.

Seatbelt Laws and Fines - And My Right to Be Stupid

I've been thinking about this one for a while, and I hope to hash it out in a way that is understandable.

Seat belt laws bug me. Let me explain.

In Ontario, as of December 1, 2006, there was a new law:

"every person travelling in a motor vehicle must wear a seat belt or use a child safety seat."

Now, in and of itself this law would be fine, I guess. According to statistics, wearing a seat belt increases your chances of surviving a car accident. Another website states that 63% of people killed in car accidents were not wearing seat belts. So, it just seems logical to put your seat belt on when you're on the road - if you've noticed all of our posts under the "road rage" tag, you'll notice that we believe people on the highways are generally idiots. I don't have a website for the statistical average of idiots on the road, but I'm pretty sure it would be above 50%. Just saying. Knowing the high percentage of idiocy on the highways leads me to be more careful.

So, I agree that it's smart to wear a seatbelt.

But here's the part that bugs me. The MTO website goes on to state:

"The penalty for seat belt infractions is a fine between $60 and $500. Convicted offenders will receive two demerit points."

I don't believe it's right for the government to be able to fine me and give me demerit points for my own decision to put my life at risk. If I want to be an idiot and go without wearing my seat belt, who are they to fine me for it?

Warn me? Sure. Frown upon me? Okay! But fine me?

Let's just look at this for a second. I'm going to use another example of personal choices.

I could go buy 200 Twinkies and gorge myself on them. I could do this daily, and there would be no fine. Why? Because it would be my choice - although the world will tell you that obesity is a risk all on its own.

23.1% of Canadians are obese.

"In 2000, poor diet including obesity and physical inactivity caused 400,000 U.S. deaths..."

Just pause for a second and look at that number. 400,000 deaths were caused by obesity and physical inactivity. Now look at these statistics, from the same year (2000):

"41,821 people were killed in auto accidents in 2000 based on data collected by the Federal Highway Administration."

So that's just a little over a tenth, and don't forget that only 63% of those deaths relating to car accidents were because the people were not wearing seat belts. Someone else can do the math for that.

What this boils down to is an infringement on my rights. If I have a right to be obese if I want to, and to be physically inactive if I want to, I should have a right to go without a seat belt if I want to.

The government has every right to fine me if I'm speeding, or driving erratically. This sort of thing puts other people in danger. But to fine me for a personal choice, a choice which leaves only me and me alone in any sort of danger, is ridiculous.

Now, don't forget to buckle up. ;p

Parking

Maybe it's the fact that it's winter now, which seems to make most Canadians apply the "stupid-head" side of their brain while behind the wheel. (Another post entirely.)

Maybe it's the fact that most people are generally narcissistic and ego-centric.

Maybe it was entirely innocent. (As in my case, which follows.) Maybe they had a valid reason.

Whatever the reason, someone in town today parked in two parking places. The back end of his car was in one space, and the front end was in another.

This drives me crazy for many reasons.

!) There are white lines to designate where your vehicle should park. White lines. They TELL YOU. These lines were not covered with snow; you can see them quite clearly.

@) A lot of people actually park properly, which means there are EXAMPLES right in front of your face. "See? This is how you should park."

#) I'm pretty sure most driving instructors tell you the obvious. "Yea, park between the lines."

$) SOME vehicles cannot fit within the white lines marking a single space. That's okay. It's not their fault they're big. They were made that way. Don't make fun of them!

But MOST vehicles can fit just fine.

But the biggest reason it bugs me:

^) When I park behind these badly-parked people, I'm in two spaces too. And then guess what happens?

The original guy drives away.

And THEN guess what happens?

I look like the idiot.

It's Not Even Safe. For Multiple Reasons.

Speaking of driving issues:

One of the biggest pet peeves of mine is when people follow too closely behind me.

I always start to wonder why, when there are miles and miles of road, some person has to edge right up to my bumper and stay there? Whether I speed up or slow down is beside the point. They're not there to pass; it makes me think maybe they believe that the closer you are to the car in front of you, the less gas you'll use up. They certainly seem to be grasping that idea with white-knuckled, talon-like fingers.

Here's the thing: if you think I'm driving too slow (which, I don't), pass me. Don't just stick there behind me. I'm saying this for my safety and your own.

It's dangerous! Think about what could happen if a little kitten were to crawl mewling onto the road, and I, being the softhearted person I am, slammed on my brakes? What would happen to us - you, me, the kitten - ? We'd all be hurt in one way or another. The kitten at the least would have painful memories that it was all his fault.

Do you really want to put that kind of mental stress on a kitten? What kind of monster are you?

Dumb Drivers

I can't stand it when I'm cruising along a great big stretch of country road, minding my own business, and someone pulls out in front of me and cuts me off.

More than 90% of the time, I am the ONLY car on the road. They didn't have to cut me off in order to make their turn within a decent time period, they just couldn't wait the two and a half seconds it would have taken for me to get by them.

Why do stupid people have this seemingly irresistible compulsion to cut the other car off just so they can be first in line? It's not like they're going to get a prize! As if some race car fairy will *POOF* out of the sky, and give them a shiny gold metal because they beat that other car into town by .0001 seconds! Yay!

Gotta be Firsters aren't as bad as the GBF's who Then Turn Off. You know, the drivers that cut you off, drive about 200 metres, then slow down to a crawl and turn either right or left.
They HAD to turn in front of you, causing you to slam on your brakes and pee a little, just to turn again twenty seconds later.

I don't flip the bird often, because it's rude and my Mommy told me not to, but if I ever do it, it's because of THOSE GUYS!!!! I hate them! Seriously, hatred. It's black and tastes kinda coppery in my mouth.

I have lots more to share about dumb drivers, but I think this will suffice for now.

It's really hard to narrow it down....

... because SO MANY things bug me!

I hate lyrics that are grammatically challenged. It ruins otherwise perfectly good songs for me.

Such as Deborah Cox's popular song, "Beautiful You Are".

"Don't ever let nobody bring you down Girl, Don't ever let nobody tear your world apart, Look in the mirror and see who you are, how Beautiful you are!"

I want to take a magical red pen and mark the whole freaking song up.

"Do not ever let anyone bring you down, Girl. Do not ever let anyone tear your world apart. Look in the mirror and see your reflection, you are beautiful."

I just can't listen to it anymore. It has a great beat, Deborah Cox has a lovely voice, but the lyrics drive me crazy. It's not good to be borderline spastic when you're behind the wheel of a tonne of steel hurtling down the highway at 100 kilometers per hour.

Serenity is indicative of good mental focus.

Artists of the world, hear me! DO NOT keep producing songs that have garbage grammar. Please! You are driving me crazy.